--- 10 REASONS I HATE THE CHRISTMAS SEASON: 2017 EDITION --- 10) The Black Muslims still won't sing "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" with me.
9) SIS (The Prison Gestapo) turned my Christmas cards into contraband because they're worried that I'll smoke them.
8) Egg nog gives me gas.
7) When the chapel went to recreate the story of Jesus's birth, they couldn't find three wise men.
6) Banks are closed on Christmas.
5) The transgenders here get offended when I say "Ho Ho Ho."
4) K-Y Jelly is listed as a "Christmas Item" on the commissary.
3) When I asked the Warden for a Christmas Hug, he just looked at me.
2) Santa's not allowed at this custody level (USP).
1) All of the elves have shanks.
Jeffrey P. Frye
30th November 2017
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