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THE BANK ROBBER'S BLOG
MARCH 2020

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--- #COVID19RELEASE20 ---
26th March 2020

I just got word that President Trump is considering an Executive Order that lets elderly and truly "Non-violent" inmates out of federal prison because of this corona thing. Immediate release, with the stroke of a pen. Man, that would certainly be a fitting end to this hostage crisis. The only problem is that, according to 18 USCA 2113(a), all individuals who liberate federally insured money, even ones that only used a note I did, are technically classified as violent offenders. I guess anything's possible though.

You know the first place that I would go if they turned me loose? The VERY first place? Bank of America.

Just kidding. No, I'd fly to O'Hare airport in Chicago, then catch a cab downtown and head straight to Giordano's Pizzeria on Rush Street and get one of those thick pizza pies that they're famous for; The thick ones that you can only eat one slice of because they're so big and so filled with cheese. Omg, I miss good pizza; And women, REAL women, not the transgenders here that have a medication-enhanced rack and that use Blue M&M's for eye shadow; And dogs; And cold beer (Old Style); And toasted "Everything" bagels that are smothered in butter and cream cheese; And the ocean; man, do I miss just sitting on the beach and watching the waves roll in as the sea breeze blows against my face; And Barnes & Noble. And hugging people. (I asked the Warden here for a hug recently and she just looked at me like I was crazy. I'm her job security. You think she'd act a little more grateful, ya know?)

If they'd let me plead my case to President Trump in person, this is how I see the conversation going:
DJT: Inmate Frye, it says here that you robbed seven banks without a mask back in 2008.
Me: Don't judge me.
DJT: Well, was there a reason? Were you upset because your bank didn't have Interest Free Checking and Overdraft Protection?
Me: It was 2008; I got tired of waiting on Obama's stimulus check. Once again, it's the economy stupid.
DJT: What have you done to better yourself in the almost 12 years that you've been in federal prison?
Me: Well, I took an acrylic painting class, Beginners and Intermediate Leather Craft, and I signed up for a DEG class for dyslexics, but the inmate teaching the class ended up going to the UHS. By the way, sir, I never believed that you colluded with the Ruskies. Just saying.
DJT: (As he smiles and hands me a Red MAGA hat, he says...) Do you promise to vote Republican if I let you out?
Me: Bernie who?
DJT: (Slaps me on the back, and says...), You're free to go. Good luck. You might want to think of doing your banking online for a while.

DJT letting JPF out of the pokey because of Covid 19? Stranger things have happened. I just can't think of any at the moment.

I guess I'll just wait for my disylexic teacher to get out of the eloh. Maybe he'll start a dyslexic Bible study. I'd go. I love doG.

Jeffrey P. Frye
murderslim.com
Bank Robber's Blog
bankblogger.weebly.com
@bankblogger2

--- NO LIMES FOR THIS CORONA ---
14th March 2020

It's Saturday March 14, 2020 (one day before my first grandson is due to be born via C-Section), and because of this coronavirus thing, they've canceled all visitation, transfers, attorney visits, or inmates going to outside medical appointments.

This is to last 30 days.

The Associate Warden and the Captain came in after they unlocked us yesterday and had a "Town Hall" meeting where they explained the procedure as of now. We are no longer able to eat in the chow hall with other cell blocks; we go with the block attached to ours (I am in J-1 block and we eat now only with J-2). Once we leave the chow hall, they disinfect it and then run another block. There are three buildings with two 120 man cell blocks attached to each side (a 1 and a 2).

I don't see this modified way of feeding us lasting though. We already (in USP's) do not receive a hot third meal nor eat that meal in the chow hall. It comes to us in a Styrofoam tray via the flap in our cell door. My guess, an the rumor is, that after we're allowed to go to the commissary tomorrow, they will lock us down for thirty days. That seems more plausible. Other prison systems such as California and Florida are already on complete lockdown, so I'm glad that at least we'll be able to go to the store one last time.

It may not seem like much or it may not seem like it would bother me after more than a decade back here, but 30 days locked in what's basically a bathroom really sucks. My present cell mate and I don't talk much, which is my favorite kind of cellie. I'm pretty much emotionally self-contained so I enjoy being left alone. My cell is my little bubble; my sanctuary; my port in the storm where I can relax, read, and sit cross-legged on my bed and write. So that's the deal. If you don't hear from me all of a sudden, you'll know why. I sure hope that this thing passes soon and that no one else dies from it. Oh, and in case I forgot to mention it...prison sucks.

So there it is. The fat and skinny of where I've been and why I've been scarce. I will be entering more chapters of Book Two this weekend with the hope of having book two completed w/in the next week or so. Book One and Two definitely need to be published together, being that Book One leaves the reader completely hanging.

Jeffrey P. Frye
murderslim.com
Bank Robber's Blog
bankblogger.weebly.com
@bankblogger2

--- LORDS OF THE RINGS ---
3rd March 2020

Hello there. I just thought that I'd touch base and let you guys know what's been going on with me and why you haven't heard a non-historical blog from me for a while.

"You guys" is evidence that I'm a Yankee; But if I'd been reared South of the Mason/Dixon line it would be, "Y'all". I just wanted to assure you that I hadn't gotten the corrslightvirus, or w/e they're calling it, or that Trump hadn't suddenly done an "Amnesty For Unarmed Bank Robbers" and that I was back on the bricks planning my next job. No such luck; I'm healthy and still acutely incarcerated, at least for the next 4 years or so. That is, unless my boy DJT wins reelection, then such an amnesty might actually be forthcoming, if for no other reason that to piss-off Nancy and Crying' Chuck Shumer. But I digress...

In the last few weeks of being at this ghettofied institution I have determined that I set my expectations way too high for the Federal Bureau of Prisons. I mean, call me crazy, but when I liberated money from seven banks and had the decency not to wear a mask, thereby divesting the FBI of the need to do any real type of investigative work, I expected them to send me to a prison system that had the money to keep the lights and water on. Apparently though, this was too much to ax.

I have been locked in my cell now for a week or so because the power won't stay on. And as my fate would have it, the water is attached to the power. I have the former President to thank for this Green decision (he also had all of the washers and dyers taken out of the cell blocks of federal prisons). As I'm sure you've seen in the movies, I have one of those indestructible-looking stainless steel toilets and sinks. The kind that can't be dismantled but are pretty useful in bouncing your cellmates head off of (when needed, of course). Above the toilet is a metal button with a ring around it that lights up green when you flush. We can flush it twice in the course of three minutes, but if you miscalculate and flush more than twice in that amount of time, a red ring appears and the toilet locks you out for 30 minutes.

Throughout the course of my time back here I have had cellmates that can't seem to grasp this concept and subsequently, and continually, lock the toilet up. I refer to these types of individuals as "Lords of The Rings." But to keep it 100, when I come into the cell and see that red ring and know that I can't flush for a half an hour, it pisses me off. The sink allows us to press the buttons as much as we want, but the cold water only stays on for 15 seconds, whereas the hot button (which is a misnomer b/c the sink water is never hot) stays of for 20 seconds. Being allowed the privilege of all of that aquatic-based freedom and being able to access water at will often leaves me humbled.

The access to the water that feeds the toilet and sink is connected to the power. Think about that for a second. So for the last week I have been locked in a bathroom that I can't even use. I joke about stuff back here, because that's just what I do, but this shit is inhumane, guys (no pun intended). Let me tell you what I witnessed through my door yesterday and it caught me off guard. A guy started mule-kicking his door and yelling/moaning, "You guys gotta let me outta here!!! I can't take it anymore!!! This is inhumane!!! Why don't you guys care about me???" Then he proceeded to yell that his cellie had shit in the sink. Being who I am, when I heard this, I promptly turned around and told my cellmate, "Stay away from the sink, dude." But this guys was serious. His mentally-challenged cell mate actually defecated in the sink then covered it up with a towel.

The cops didn't do anything, and about 20 minutes later I heard the cop standing at their door yelling for them to lay flat on the floor. then he sprayed them with mace, right after hitting his body alarm. The guy who used the sink as a toilet swung on the other guy, not the other way around. It was entertaining, much in the way a traffic accident is, but when you dig down through 12 years of seeing stabbings, rapes, and killings, and witnessing up-close, degrading things and the worst of human nature, it made me very sad, and fucked me up (in my head) and kept me from sleeping. Add to that that I have asthma and COPD and that there was no ventilation to take the pepper spray from the unit, it was complete horror for me for the next hour as I coughed, gagged, and gasped for air. I plan to do a lot of things when I finally get out. But don't look for me to even jaywalk. I will never to anything to expose myself to living like this again. Period.

The upside to having all this Guantanamo Time though is that I got to spend days and days on just RILEY. (Picture THAT freedom, Clay. Being locked in the room with Baer and Mae and the gang for days and days with nothing but time to hone their story.) I loved it and made the best use of the time that I could. Book One of The Life of Riley is the first 20 chapters, and after rereading the hard-copy of books Two and Three (that I haven't looked at in years), and reacquainting myself with the main charters (many of who you don't meet in Book One), I came to the opinion that my writing in Book One sucks. I can tell that I got better in the subsequent chapters. That stands to reason though, because even when you some natural ability, that ability gets better the more you practice at it and hone it.

So there it is. The fat and skinny of where I've been and why I've been scarce. I will be entering more chapters of Book Two this weekend with the hope of having book two completed w/in the next week or so. Book One and Two definitely need to be published together, being that Book One leaves the reader completely hanging.

Jeffrey P. Frye
murderslim.com
Bank Robber's Blog
bankblogger.weebly.com
@bankblogger2