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JUNE 2015

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--- JENNER IDENTITY ISSUES ---
6th June 2015

Creative Convicts

Federal prison is filled with transgender individuals, as well as people who are in various stages of gender reassignment. However, prison is also an environment where strength and the ability to physically dominate others is celebrated. Some of the values that are present in the penitentiary are inversed to those in the free world. Take stealing for instance, and the way one handles being stolen from. Back here, if somebody stole your radio and you found out who it was and saw them wearing it, then knocked the shit out of them and took it back, you would gain the respect of your peers. If you reacted like that in the free world though, you'd be looked down upon by your peers for your inability to control yourself and handle things properly. However, the one thing that would happen in both scenarios is that the person would go to jail (The Hole, in prison). But the difference back here is that when you got out of jail, people would shake your hand and your radio would be viewed in a different light. Everybody would know that along with batteries, it also came with an ass-whipping if somebody chose to swipe it.

So being that prison is a Survival Of The Fittest-based environment, it stands to reason that men who act effeminately are looked down upon, and sometimes preyed upon. It's my personal opinion that 95% of the homosexuals back here were born that way and that's just who they are. It wasn't a choice. I think that the other five percent are either in it for the honeybuns or are just so inherently weak that when somebody runs a wiener across their lips, they pop it in their mouth.

I was discussing this issue recently with my Irish Pearl, Missy, and I told her that I don't think that we're responsible for who or what we're attracted to, or what turns us on sexually. Take bondage for example. To others, you may tell people that you find S&M or being dominated to be reprehensible, but privately, you may see somebody tied up spread-eagle, face-down while a cat-o-nine tails is being cracked across their ass and get turned on by it. It may give you "That feeling" deep down inside. A person can intellectually think that something is bad, but if that's what "Scratches their itch," so to speak, that's just the way it is. Somebody sure bought those 150 million copies of FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, and I really don't think they bought them for their literary content.

Back in 2013, I did a blog called PENAL REFORM. It's archived near the bottom of January 2013's page on murderslim.com and it was about a guy who went by the name of Vanessa and who had gender identity issues. At the time, he was trying to get the Federal Bureau of Prisons to reassign his gender from male to female. The court denied his request though, and he subsequently sashayed into the chow hall during lunch one day (when all of the prison officials were present), pulled down his pants, and pulled out a straight razor and lopped off his penis and threw it on the floor. It landed with a wet "Thud" next to my buddy Angelo. The entire chow hall went wild; the cops hit their body alarms, the prisoners started yelling and running in all directions, and Vanessa swung his hips back and forth like Shakira as he sprayed blood everywhere. In the midst of all the chaos, Angelo looked down at the absconding member laying on the floor (it was black), and said, "Damn, they burnt it." Then he shrugged, and asked, "Do we have any mustard left?" Coincidentally, this incident happened on Hot Dog Day.

The immediate result of this incident was that they scooped up Vanessa's penis and reattached it to him. Then they gave him a little spa time up at the psychiatric wing of the Federal Medical Center in Springfield, Missouri. But in spite of the stiff resistance of the government, and after much hard arguing, a higher court reversed the lower court and ruled that the Federal Bureau of Prisons had the duty to reassign Vanessa's gender (See United States v. Wienerschnitzel). Now, all because of one bold, emancipating stoke on Hot Dog Day years ago, there are men that walk around the prison with boobs. I am not homosexual, bisexual, trysexual, or even Prison Curious, but having somebody with tits walk up to the counter at work and check out a Tom Clancy book can be pretty distracting.

The way that it works back here, is that an individual who decides that they want their gender reassigned has to be screened, and then diagnosed as having Gender Identity Disorder (GID), by the Psychology Department. Once this happens, a process begins that eventually culminates in that person's gender being reassigned. For men, they are given estrogen pills and patches that "Dry up" their testicles. A side effect is that it also makes them grow breasts. Once this happens, the psychology department provides the person with bras and even women's panties. Eventually, this person has surgery performed to remove their penis and create a vaginal cavity (there's two words that I really hoped to never have to put next to each other). After the surgery, they are then sent to a woman's prison.

The last part of this is what I just don't get. I'm no Caitlynologist, but I would think that being a gay man in prison would be akin to being on a singles cruise or being dropped into a cucumber patch. So why would they want to go live around a bunch of women? No comprende, Senorita Booyessa. But, to each their own. Live and let live.

The more I learn about life, it seems the less I understand. But I've come to realize that most people, at some point in their life, want to be something other than what they are. The overweight want to be skinny, and the skinny want a little more meat on their bones; the pale want to be darker, and the darker want to be lighter; redheads want to be blonde, and the blondes want to be brunettes; the poor want to be rich, while the rich say that money can't buy you happiness. And Vinnie wants to be Vanessa, and Angelo just wants some more mustard. Being unsatisfied would seem to be part of the human condition. It would appear that at least on some level, everybody has Jenner identity issues at one time or another.

Strangely enough, I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin these days. However, it is a shame that I had to rob a bunch of banks just to get my own blog. But in the words of my attorney Bob on the day of my sentencing (who was all Bob and very little weave), "It just is what it is." Well spoken, Bob.

Jeffrey P. Frye
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